The Psychiatrist(sex jokes)

So, here is how I met my Ex-
husband:
Let me not romanticize it. It
wasn’t in some mall or social
event or all those nice places. I
looked tired and drawn, and felt
like shit the night he walked in,
stood over my bed, smiled and
said,
“Hi, my name is (okay name
withheld), and I’m going to be
your nurse for the night. Let me
know if you need anything or
have any complaints.”
But that is not important. What
matters is I noticed him. And as
sick as I was, probably dying and
in need of a last confession, I felt
warm inside. Inside my stomach,
don’t think too far down. Yes! He
was too cute to be true, and for a
moment I wondered if I had
started seeing the light. You
know, maybe all along that light
at the end of that tunnel is
subjective to every dying
individual. Well, it wasn’t “the
light”. It was a mortal man, and
God have mercy, he was fine! I
attempted a smile but it only
ended in me wincing because I
had the grandparents of all
headaches and my face felt tight.
“Sorry my dear, you’re going to
be fine soon, don’t worry”
Why, this voice can do things to
me! I thought, and well I wasn’t
too surprised I was thinking that.
It was a far subtler version of
what would have popped in my
head first, had it been a perfectly
normal night.
So after that first impression, my
night nurse had found his way
into my thoughts and was
playing games with me. Sure,
they were games I was willing to
play but definitely not in my
head. There was a bigger play
ground outside of my dreams.
I laid there for close to an hour,
fantasizing, till he walked in
again, with a steel tray upon
which my IV drugs for the night
were displayed.
“Sorry to disturb you,”
He said and smiled.
“No problem,”
I whispered. But in my head,—
What took you so long?!—
He pulled my bedside stool closer,
sat down and took my right
hand in his.
“This is going to hurt a little bit,”
He soothed and started pushing
the liquid through the line
fastened to the back of my palm.
I winced again and he
proceeded to rub his thumb over
my wrist over and over again,
while saying “Sorry, sorry, sorry”
in that completely sinful voice. I
was ready to pass out.
My eyes closed voluntarily and I
let my mind go. The rubbing
motion was doing all sorts of
things to me and I had to
restrain myself from moaning.
“Are you asleep?”
He asked. I hadn’t noticed he was
done. He smiled again and asked
if I was ok.
“No”
“Oh, sweetheart you’re going to
be fine.”
“Can you sit by me for a while?”
“Sure, why not?”
And so he discarded the used
syringes, cotton wool and gloves
and sat next to me; my night
nurse. We talked. About
mundane stuff, then about
private stuff and then I actually
smiled without wincing.
“You have a beautiful smile.”
I died a little and smiled again.
“Thank you. Can you please help
me get out of bed? I’m tired of
lying down”
He helped me sit up, placed his
hand gently on my back and
helped me to my feet. I was
standing, directly in front of him,
a few inches away from his face,
and I started to feel dizzy. It was
the temptation. It was just too
strong. I clutched my head and
sighed.
“Maybe you should lie back
down. You are not ready for
this.”
I really wanted to kiss him but in-
between the headache and the
overwhelming temptation I knew
I just had to lie back down.
And thus the rest of the night
passed, uneventful. The dream
though was…okay let’s leave that
for another day.
Now let me not mince words or
beat around the bush. By dawn,
when I woke up, the pain meds
had left me painless and much
stronger but I was so terribly
turned on by the sight of my
night nurse still seated, though
asleep, by my side. I sat up in bed
and coughed slightly. He woke
up and smiled.
“I would like to take my bath but
I’d need some help.”
“Okay, I’ll go get one of the ladies
to come help you.”
I was initially disappointed in
him but I was determined to
make the morning go my way.
“No. That’s ok. I just need you to
help me to the bathroom that’s
all.”
So he did. But this time when his
hand fell onto my waist I couldn’t
keep back the moan. He looked
at me and smiled. God! I
whispered.
We took slow steps to the
bathroom and he lowered me
gently onto the edge of the tub
and turned to leave.
“Please don’t go.”
I whispered again, and he
stopped. By then I had slipped
one hand out of my night dress
and I knew one breast was
almost totally exposed. He cleared
his throat and I could see his
Adam’s apple move up then
down and for the love of me, I
moaned again. This time the look
in his eyes changed. He stepped
closer and placed his hand on my
bare shoulder. I kept my eyes on
his face, making sure he saw
clearly how much I wanted him. I
slipped the other hand out of my
dress and it fell down to my
waist. He sucked in his breath
and let out a very weak “No”.
I took his hand and cupped it
over my left breast and started to
work it in gentle circles. He
stepped even closer and pulled
me up.
Our lips met hesitantly at first,
then we both slowly melted into
each other’s faces and my feet
were not mine beneath me!! My
night nurse was not just cute, he
not only had a voice that killed,
but his hands on my breasts and
his lips against mine were
electric and I was panting by the
time he let go.
“I shouldn’t be doing this.”
His lips said, but his eyes were
fixed on my belly button. I
walked over to the door and
locked it. It was still very early any
noise could be heard from a
distance away, and his job was
on the line but the combination
of all that, had the insides of my
thigh throbbing and I just
wanted my clothes off. I turned
and with my back to the door,
pushed down on my dress, and it
fell down to my feet. I could see
he was too aroused to keep it
hidden and it gave me much
pleasure that he reacted so fast
to my naked body. He walked up
to me, hiked my right leg up over
the back of his waist and placed
his hand over my mouth.
“Shhh”
I nodded.
He slipped his free hand down to
my crotch and began that same
rubbing motion he did on my
wrist the night before. It was
death twice and over and to
keep from screaming I bit into
his palm and he slipped his
fingers in my very ready warmth.
I peeled his hand of my mouth,
“Fuck me!”
Then a wicked grin passed over
his face and I shuddered with
excitement
“Not yet”
He said and bit gently into my
neck. I grabbed him and dug my
fingers in his back.
“Please”
I could feel his erection push
through his slacks and I pushed
my hips against him, trying hard
to let him know I wanted him
bad.
“You’re beautiful”
He said through a groan and
sucked on my breast. I thought I
was going to convulse!
He stepped back and with my
hands tremble along with my
whole body, I helped him out of
his green shirt and matching
trousers. The sight of him gave
me another orgasm almost
instantly. I pulled him towards
me, and he held me up, his hands
firmly placed on my butt and as if
he couldn’t hold back any longer,
slid his full firm length in me with
a grunt. My back arched and I bit
down on my lip as he buried his
face in my chest. Every second
afterwards was rhythmic glory
and my pulse raced together
with our muffled moans. We
climaxed together, sweaty and
content. Oh and in my case, I felt
healed as well.
But one thing we both forgot…
Protection!
So yeah, you probably have
guessed right. That was how I
got pregnant and as to why we
thought marriage was the
solution still makes me want to
slap myself hard. How he became
my ex-husband though is a story
I must tell later. But to give a
clue…it involved another female
patient…

9jasexpost

Sharing is romantic share with friends on

Like us on :